A Pantry Story
Once upon a time, there was a pantry. A very messy pantry that didn't have enough shelves or storage space. It also had wasted space way up high where no shelves dared to live. 
Then one day all the food in the pantry jumped off the shelves and tried to run into the kitchen so it could actually be eaten. The distance was too great and the trek across the breakfast room too treacherous. The food tried to hid next to the kitchen table but it could hardly camouflage itself. The 32 bags of microwave popcorn from 2008 would have to be sacrificed. Next, the 5 cans of tuna from 2009. 
But then a magical man (Paul the installer) appeared with special tools and equipment. He disappeared into the horrible pantry from which all the food had fled. He was behind the pantry door for many hours and unfamiliar noises to the food could be heard. He reappeared in the breakfast room and showed the fair lady the work he had done. The food was nervous and didn't know what to think so they sent a scout, Baby Ray, to venture back into the pantry to investigate. 
The End.
Then one day all the food in the pantry jumped off the shelves and tried to run into the kitchen so it could actually be eaten. The distance was too great and the trek across the breakfast room too treacherous. The food tried to hid next to the kitchen table but it could hardly camouflage itself. The 32 bags of microwave popcorn from 2008 would have to be sacrificed. Next, the 5 cans of tuna from 2009. But then a magical man (Paul the installer) appeared with special tools and equipment. He disappeared into the horrible pantry from which all the food had fled. He was behind the pantry door for many hours and unfamiliar noises to the food could be heard. He reappeared in the breakfast room and showed the fair lady the work he had done. The food was nervous and didn't know what to think so they sent a scout, Baby Ray, to venture back into the pantry to investigate. 
Baby Ray was astonished by what he saw!! Shelves to the ceiling, beautiful smooth pulling drawers of all shapes and sizes. His excitement encouraged the rest of the food to come take a look. Everyone, from Jose Garcia to entire the Barilla family was overcome with joy and happily clamoured up the shelves to stake a claim in this new territory. They lived happily ever after... until they were eaten.
The End. About the Author:
Laura, will admit that she is a bit neurotic and meticulously designed her new pantry. She measured multiple food items to know exactly how high each shelf should be placed. What she did not know, however, was that she is a hoarder, capable of opening a fully-stocked corner grocery store. The store's contents would include: 5 boxes of wheat thins, 4 boxes of Penne, Farfelle, and 7 boxes of other pasta shapes, 4 bags of potato chips, 4 bags of pretzels, 10 bottles of three varieties of salsa and of course, 8 cans of each cream of mushroom *and* cream of chicken soup. Laura hopes her pantry will never be this full again or that she is snowed in for at least a month to be forced to consume the majority of this food.
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